It’s a funny sounding word isn’t it, congruent, it kind of rolls off your tongue…
Congruent to me means simply doing what you say you’re going to, I.E, I’m going to eat 3 x healthy meals today, means that you’ll eat 3 x small nutritious meals and that’s it – no snacks, sweets or biscuits!
I think there is a kind of semi invisible sign around people when they are not being congruent and somehow you can just sense that they’re not what they appear to be, even though they seem to be doing and saying all the right things – have you ever experienced that, someone who for it seems no reason whatsoever you just don’t like/trust them-something is telling you to watch out!
In my opinion, being congruent is one of the most important things you can do in life, speak your truth, stick by your values and be who you say you are – always.
When we are congruent we have feelings of high self-esteem, self-pride, accomplishment and fulfillment, when we let people really see us, the true us, the strength in our vulnerability makes us stronger & happier.
Look at it this way, when we are and do what we say we are, the pressures off isn’t it, we can just ‘be’.
No need to forward plan anything or practice acting in a certain way because we act and are just how we should act and be – naturally for us. Now I’m not saying that we can’t improve upon things or modify values or behaviours that no longer serve us, but life is just A LOT easier when you give yourself full responsibility and permission to just be YOU.
There’s a famous quote,’ just be yourself because everyone else is taken!’ by Mark Twain, perhaps?
When you decide to be CONGRUENT there is an ACCEPTANCE that comes with it, an acceptance of the responsibility that brings you, an acceptance of choice and action. You know that by accepting to live congruently that you are truly GROWING as a person, living with ultimate freedom, freedom of choice & the ability to just be yourself and know that that will always be good enough.
By living congruently you will start being more aware of your thoughts and actions and start WATCHING what you actually do, enabling you to stay on track and motivate to complete what you said you would.
Now, being CONGRUENT doesn’t mean having to go ahead and do something that turns out to be a bad idea, or having to do/say something just because you thought it – it just means that you live by your own values and morals, you are honest with yourself and others and you measure yourself honestly,’ is this the right thing for me to do, right now?’’Do I want this goal-for me?’’Does this person need to hear what I want to say to them? Do they need to hear it now and from me?’ for example.
Being CONGRUENT is simply a less stressful way to be, there’s no planning or practicing you just ‘are’.
Like I said before, you can always learn and improve upon things as you go through life but ultimately, if you are being the best YOU you can be, living honestly with yourself and others then no-one can really ask for more, can they.
Start now, take a leap of courage (if necessary) and start really living as yourself for all to see – it’s freeing, invigorating, fulfilling and enlightening AND it’s exhausting pretending to be something you’re not, you’re good enough so let that old façade slip and embrace the real you!
If you want any more information or assistance in living a CONGRUENT lifestyle then get in touch on info@paramountcoaching.co.uk or call/text on 07709 564426.
Enjoy being you!
Loran Northey
