Congruent to me means simply doing what you say you’re going to, I.E, I’m going to eat 3 x healthy meals today, means that you’ll eat 3 x small nutritious meals and that’s it – no snacks, sweets or biscuits!

I think there is a kind of semi invisible sign around people when they are not being congruent and somehow you can just sense that they’re not what they appear to be, even though they seem to be doing and saying all the right things – have you ever experienced that, someone who for it seems no reason whatsoever you just don’t like/trust them-something is telling you to watch out!

In my opinion, being congruent is one of the most important things you can do in life, speak your truth, stick by your values and be who you say you are – always.

When we are congruent we have feelings of high self-esteem, self-pride, accomplishment and fulfillment, when we let people really see us, the true us, the strength in our vulnerability makes us stronger & happier.

Look at it this way, when we are and do what we say we are, the pressures off isn’t it, we can just ‘be’.

No need to forward plan anything or practice acting in a certain way because we act and are just how we should act and be – naturally for us. Now I’m not saying that we can’t improve upon things or modify values or behaviours that no longer serve us, but life is just A LOT easier when you give yourself full responsibility and permission to just be YOU.

There’s a famous quote,’ just be yourself because everyone else is taken!’ by Mark Twain, perhaps?

When you decide to be CONGRUENT there is an ACCEPTANCE that comes with it, an acceptance of the responsibility that brings you, an acceptance of choice and action. You know that by accepting to live congruently that you are truly GROWING as a person, living with ultimate freedom, freedom of choice & the ability to just be yourself and know that that will always be good enough.

By living congruently you will start being more aware of your thoughts and actions and start WATCHING what you actually do, enabling you to stay on track and motivate to complete what you said you would.

Now, being CONGRUENT doesn’t mean having to go ahead and do something that turns out to be a bad idea, or having to do/say something just because you thought it – it just means that you live by your own values and morals, you are honest with yourself and others and you measure yourself honestly,’ is this the right thing for me to do, right now?’’Do I want this goal-for me?’’Does this person need to hear what I want to say to them? Do they need to hear it now and from me?’ for example.

Being CONGRUENT is simply a less stressful way to be, there’s no planning or practicing you just ‘are’.

Like I said before, you can always learn and improve upon things as you go through life but ultimately, if you are being the best YOU you can be, living honestly with yourself and others then no-one can really ask for more, can they.

Start now, take a leap of courage (if necessary) and start really living as yourself for all to see – it’s freeing, invigorating, fulfilling and enlightening AND it’s exhausting pretending to be something you’re not, you’re good enough so let that old façade slip and embrace the real you!

If you want any more information or assistance in living a CONGRUENT lifestyle then get in touch on info@paramountcoaching.co.uk or call/text on 07709 564426.

Enjoy being you!

Loran Northey

Creation – Definition of Creation
• From the Greek root kreas, which means flesh.
• When something new is made.
• Biblically, when producing something from nothing.
• The divine act by which, according to various religious and philosophical traditions, the world was brought into existence.

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Wow – quite strong stuff in that definition isn’t there! It’s Alchemy, Magic, Invention!
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For me, it’s quite simply producing something that wasn’t there before.
This word for me has endless and infinite opportunities attached to it – quite literally anything can happen!

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When working with the CREATION side of the Cube of Change many magical things can happen.
Firstly, you want to decide on what your presenting topic or challenge is going to be,.

For example: I do not know whether to stay in the career I hate for the money or risk it and do something I love?

Looking at the cube and the CREATION side you could for instance, be drawn to the word AWARENESS and thinking about it decide that actually you’re very aware that although your current career is paying well – that’s not enough for you anymore, you want fulfillment.

Next, your eyes may wander to BALANCE and you may ask yourself where do I currently have balance in my life and where do I not? This may prompt another question – what do I need to do now to create balance in all areas of my life? What areas can be more unbalanced for now and which have to be focused on as a priority? What do I want the balance for? What will balance actually give me?
(You see a clearer picture and focus is being gained along the way and as the saying goes you’ll never get what you want in life if you don’t actually know what you want and why you want it )

You can then rest you eye on CHANGE and decide what it is you want to and are able to change, and decide to focus on that. Next comes IMAGINATION and here is where the magic can really begin.
 Imagine what it is you want, imagine you have removed all the blocks and boundaries to what you want, what are you now having, doing, feeling? What can you hear, see, smell and feel? Use your imagination to really experience a clear picture of what you want. Also IMAGINATION is great for seeing a way around or through those old boundaries that were holding you back, how can you do things differently, what are you prepared to do differently now? Write it down, Mind Map it, but most of all – DO IT!!!!!!!!

So you see there are endless ways in which to use the CREATION side of the Cube of Change, what are you going to do now to make the best use of yours?

Contact me on info@paramountcoaching.co.uk or call me on 07709 564426 to arrange for your first session and bring even more magic into your life!

To a more Magical Life!
Loran

However, somewhere along the line we are given a message that it’s not ok to think of yourself, you cant have everything you want and that you must think of others first or risk being branded as selfish or self-absorbed!

Well, I hate to break it to you but we are always thinking ‘what’s in it for me?’ and that’s absolutely the way it should be.

Why we do anything is much more important than what we do.

The why we do something will measure a) how effective we will be and b) how long we will maintain it.

The why? Will be the ‘what’s in it for me?’ – Factor

 WHY????????

Every choice we make, action we take, conversations we have are governed by our WIIFM thinking.

People may argue that some people in society are completely without wanting reward for their actions or words but in fact they are gaining some kind of reward or recognition through their actions and/or words, so they are not selfless beings they are just like us, acting with WIIFM thinking.

So let’s be honest with ourselves and accept our thinking for what it is.

I encourage you to become aware of what you are doing and why? If you are doing something that you enjoy and it fits with your beliefs & values and it will give you more wealth in your life then carry on doing it, in fact, do more of it!

However,  if you are making choices or taking action that does not seem to be working out for you, take a time out to think about why you are doing it, what’s in it for you? Is it something that will benefit you? Is it a positive reason? Is the ‘what’s in it for me?’ factor – enough? Do I actually want what it will give me?

Start to ask yourself questions and find out if it’s something you do want to pursue or perhaps the reason it’s not going so well is because actually, you don’t want or need what it will give you or it’s actually someone else’s desire altogether and not your own.

By asking ourselves these questions about INCENTIVE we can create choice for ourselves and actually begin to start creating the things in our lives that we really want.

So go ahead and start being honest with yourself and ask yourself ‘ok, what’s in it for me?’ and sit back and start to make the right things happen!

Loran Northey

When you are crossing a river you don’t just jump-in and hope for the best to get from the bank you’re on now to where you want to go, no, you strategically place foot markers/stepping stones in front of you to get you through your journey safely and on track.

It’s exactly the same with goals! 

Imagine a flowing river – you’re on one side and you can see a really great time on the other side, you’re aware of the sound of the rivers flowing water and current, your can smell the sweet smell of success coming from the other bank and you can aware of the width and depth of that flowing river.

Still, you want to cross it but you know the other bank is a leap too far, you haven’t practised, you haven’t got the right skills yet, you’ll never make it!

You look around you partly frustrated, partly looking for another way forward and you notice three rocks nearby, they look sturdy, with a good foundation and level/balanced. You have a light-bulb moment – I know I’ll place these in the water and use them to walk across the river.

You then notice that the rocks are different shapes and sizes. Hmmm you think, which goes first, I know the biggest one, with the greatest foundation, then if I wobble a big it will support me and steady me- allowing me to find my balance.

Next will be the next in size, this is even balanced and level and looks like a good platform where I could rest and evaluate my journey so far safely and effectively before moving on.

The next on well, it’s a different shape altogether and looks more like a springboard.

I’ll use this one last to propel me over to the other bank and into success!

A successful journey made by using the right steps – hurrah!

Imagine those 3 stepping stones as your steps to your success – imagine them as minimum, momentum and propelling steps.

Maybe you can imagine those words across the top of them as you stand on them?

Minimum stepping stone –

What is the minimum level you need to establish a strong foundation? What are the minimum skills you require, collaborators involved, finances required, what is the minimal amount that you need to learn and action to be at this point?  This might be creating £50,000 in business revenue, having more time daily with your family or following a fitness regime.

Momentum stepping stone-

Once you’ve established yourself on that a level sturdy foundation, what is a momentum goal that will stretch you? This might be to generate £150,000 in business revenue, booking 4 x family holidays a year that you can afford or signing up for a physical challenge that will stretch you like London to Brighton bike ride, a point at which you’ll have a level footing to access what you’ve learnt so far, action that, identify what and who you need to bring in now to take the next step and evaluate now ‘what is it i want to learn now’ is it how easy it was, is it ‘that i had the right opportunities at the right time because i planned, built a clear path with a solid foundation, with the right steps and distance to make my way forward’. This is the stage were you can acknowledge the steps that have got you this far and can engineer the action required to get you to the next one! 

Propelling stepping stone –

This is the level that perhaps looked that little bit unrealistic from where were starting from way back on that original bank, but that is possible as a long-term goal, when the appropriate steps have been taken. This is where the foundations, the systems and the resources are all in place and quite literally propel you forward into your desired success! Perhaps that’s for you – financial freedom allowing you to be financially and time rich, maybe it’s buying that beach and/or mountain home for your families enjoyment, maybe it’s being able to share your success with others that improves and enhances their lifestyles.

Success is what YOU want it to be………

So go ahead and think about your goals in life, imagine your river and it’s two banks, Watson them? Place your stepping stones across to make your path and identify what action/people/learning/collaborating is required to move from on to another.imagine making your way across, a firm foundation on the first one, a level platform to assess and plan on the second and identify what makes the third your springboard to success!

Very importantly when you have done that – imagine yourself on that other bank, what are you experiencing to celebrate your success? Who are you with, what are you doing, what can you see, how are you feeling? What’s the absolute best thing about it? Really, imagine that now…

Go ahead and have some fun, perhaps you will draw your river in a pictorial mind-map style , maybe it will be more like an ordinance survey map with steps taken as markers or perhaps you will write down your journey like a verbal plan, however you do it, it will be just right for you, it will become your personal blueprint for success!

Remember: I’m always here to help you across if you need me at anytime, perhaps to steady you or help build your firm foundation at the beginning or maybe it’s when you’re reflecting on your steady platform, unsure of the next action required or maybe it’s when you’re about to propel forward and you’re not sure how to celebrate!!!!

If you need me I’m here with a helping hand or a needed but not always expected, shove! 

To your success!

Loran Northey

 Www.paramouncoaching.com                        Info@paramountcoaching.co.uk

Tel: 0845 474 4516                                             Mob: 07709 564426

Tom Evans on http://www.recipesforfreshthinking.com

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The secret to learn is that slowing down is the new speeding up and the easy and free way to top up your tank.

Here’s how to go faster by going slower …

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1. Take at least 10 minutes of “me time” every day – ideally in mediation/relaxation.

2. Put your ‘stuff’ at the top of your To Do/will do list – no one else can breathe for you!

3. Go and see someone about that nagging pain you’ve had for ages whose approach is not to just prescribe a pill

4. Start mixing with successful people – getting in flow is very enjoyably contagious!

5. Declutter and sell old stuff you haven’t used in ages (on eBay, etc) and then invent a product or service that people will pay for – or why not write that book?

6. Treat yourself to an afternoon nap when you feel like it – there’s nothing quite like a siesta!

7. Before responding to things that annoy you, take a breather and even have a sleep on it. Respond when you’re acting without heightened emotion to get the best results.

Just imagine for a moment what it would be like if life was easy!

Imagine what it would be like if opportunity found you and your days were filled with serendipity.

Imagine if the money flowed in just when you needed it and in the right amounts.

Imagine just meeting the perfect people at the perfect time.

Is such a living just a pipe dream?

Well, stop imagining it and start living it. It’s time to get back your karmic path !!

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The Cube of Karma is an elegant metaphorical journey that allows us to take stock of our life so far and to make judgments on the course of action for our next phase of evolution.

It’s like a software upgrade for the soul.

If you so choose, this next phase can be rapid.

The Cube itself is based on esoteric wisdom which is delivered in modern day, safe and contemporary framework.

It encapsulates the wisdom of ages and is just brimming with erudition and insight.

There is no dogma, no baggage ; no need for you to change your belief set.

There is only one guarantee – after a journey around the Cube, your life will never be the same again.

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How do you know if you are ready to go around the Cube?

Having arrived at this page, ask yourself three questions:

Have you already had an insight or awakening but you are unsure of where to go and what to next?

Has the Cube caught your eye?

Do you get a gut feeling telling you to get in touch?

What you will take away?

You will know why you came into this lifetime and what you’re here to do.

You will leave with a new blueprint and the knowledge and wisdom of how to make it happen.

You will discover how to live your life feeling ‘fully alive’ .

I went for a walk on Sunday and had a great time walking with my good friend and the dog in the park.

My friend and I were talking about 2012 and how it was supposed to be the year for change and we were discussing what changes we wanted to make and how we were going to overcome any challenges before us. We were discussing possible remedies and plans of action when I looked over towards two trees in the distance and couldn’t quite work out what was going on over there.

As the dog had decided to run over that way anyway we walked over to get a better look.

As we approached the trees we could see some guys making some noise and arms flailing.

What were they doing?

When we got nearer we saw that there was a towing rope about two feet from the ground tied around both trees and the guys were using it as a tight rope.

How incredible – I’ve never seen that in a local park before.

We stopped and watched them for a while and then asked what they were practising for? Nothing they said they just wanted to learn how to do it. One of the brothers seemed to have got the hang of it and went nearly all the way across, whilst the other was having balance problems from the start and wasn’t that happy about it, bless him.

It was great watching them actually as they were having a great time practising and we had a laugh and a joke about one of them being ready for Niagara Falls soon. They’d only been practising for half an hour and they’d really made progress.

Again I asked them what it was in aid of and they said nothing specific, they’d just decided that they wanted to learn to do it, couldn’t find a school or trainer nearby so decided to go it alone.

A definite example of thinking outside the box and overcoming obstacles.

It’s cool how when you’re thinking something, an example appears.

So remember, think outside the box for ways to overcome your obstacles and make whatever you want to happen-happen!

It’s never clear where and when life’s lessons are going to appear, so keep your ears and eyes open!

Recipes for Fresh Thinking is a membership site for those who want to change their world.

If you find life is harder than it should be, then Recipes for Fresh Thinking is just the right place.

If you want to make a change at a fundamental level, Recipes for Fresh Thinking is for you.

If you want magic to come into your world, Recipes for Fresh Thinking is the place to be.

Want a weekly helping hand to get in and stay in flow?

Want to exceed your wildest dreams?

Have you got just five minutes a week to transform your life?

Recipes for Fresh Thinking is the online learning hub for you!

This site authored by Tom Evans has four levels of membership (or courses) on the menu, all designed to bring you increasing degrees of inner-sight and inner-wisdom as how to live life at a whole new level of Being.

And not only that – you get to learn how easy it is to live at that whole higher level, in life!

Just joining the site at the basic level at £9.99* a month will be enough for many to make a huge change in their lives. For the more adventurous, there are no limits …

What you get when you join

Access to the monthly live ‘Tasting’ webinar
An email a week with simple ways to get you in flow
Podcast and vodcast interviews with enlightened thinkers

A series of enlightening articles brimming with fresh thinking
New recipes of fresh thinking concocted by our Tour Guides
A brand new MP3 visualisation each month to expand your consciousness
A free bonus worth £14.99

3 MP3 audio visualisations to help you get ’in the zone’
A PDF copy of Part 1 of Flavours of Thought

All this and much, much more!

To sign up for this incredible ongoing learning experience click here now: http://bit.ly/xEbCtN

My suggestion is that whenever you decide to take a look at your life results is that you work alongside a trained mind coach who can guide you, inspire you and keep you accountable to ensure that you reach the goals that you set for yourself.

It can be very difficult to maintain self motivation and let’s be honest, all successful people whether they are professional athletes, singers or CEO’s – ALL of them have a coach to kick their AR## and to keep them continually achieving!

 I set my goals daily/weekly, I celebrate their achievement and then I set some more and do the whole thing again, it’s great! I get to whoo-hoo, do a victory dance and give myself a pat on the back on a continual basis – it’s great for my morale and motivation PLUS it works!

When I set the goal nowadays, I’m already planning my celebration/reward!

New Year can be a time when people want to change their bad habits that are responsible for their weight/habits/lifestyle and if this is you then here are some handy hints and tips to help you achieve what you set out to.

Narrow it down – Focus!

You may have a few life choices you would like to be change, but it is critical to your success that you don’t try to break all of your bad habits/vices at once.

You’ll most likely set out with all good intentions but then you’ll probably end up with overwhelm and very little success in anything you’re trying to change.

You’re only human and attempting to kick a smoking habit, shed weight, give up wheat plus stay away from alcohol all at the same time is probably going to tip you over the overwhelm/achievable edge!

Instead, prioritize and focus on the one behaviour/habit that will have the most positive influence on your life, right now.

Set and write down a definite goal. Make the outcome specific, as now/timed and achievable. Vague is a cop-out and will not get you where you want to be – ever!

Goal setting is like setting out on a journey that you’ve never been on before, you must know the end destination in order for you to get there. For example, if you want to be lighter in the future then state a goal like ‘ It is 1^st May 2012, I am wearing a very comfortable size 12 pair of jeans, I am looking in the mirror and feeling very pleased with myself’.

Tips - Write up your goal as instructed and display on your wall so that you can see it and read if regularly.

Write your goal onto a credit card size piece of card and carry it around with you daily in your purse/wallet so that you read it and imagine yourself doing and being your end result. This is will inspire you to take the appropriate actions to make sure that result comes true.

Spill the beans – Blab!

I strongly recommend working with a mind coach to ensure you achieve your goals especially when trying to kick a bad habit. However if this is not possible, it is important to tell at least one person about your goal so that you have somebody to be accountable to. (although a friend will let you off and give you some slack – a coach won’t and that’s why I recommend using one)

When you are craving the behaviour or habit that you used to do it is much easier to give in to your craving because if you have nobody to answer to or if you know your friend will ask you later but you’ll be able to fob them off – you can!

A coach will not only keep you accountable but will teach you techniques so that you can use to effectively get rid of any cravings allowing you to concentrate o what you do want instead of what you don’t want!

Alternatively, you could complete a daily journal. Admitting and writing what you’re doing on a daily basis and seeing the evidence of your behaviour may help you think twice about giving in.

Think – Daily small steps!

Keep it in the now!

Changing behaviour can seem like a huge hurdle when you start out IF you are thinking ‘I’ll never be able to enjoy blah-blah again’ ‘I’ll never again………..’ It can seem a hugely daunting situation.

By keeping it in the now you can manage to make it all seem much more achievable. Smaller achievable bites of a bigger goal.

Say to yourself “Today I will eat healthily/I will be smoke-free/I will walk from the bus stop before the one I usually get off”.

Focussing on changing your thinking/behaviours one day at a time makes it seem a lot easier and achievable, and each day at the end you celebrate your success! Have a 5 minute ‘me-time’, give yourself a pat on the back, call up a friend and tell them how great you’ve done. For even more inspiration, you could diarise or chart your success on a calendar, marking each successful day!

Prepare to be human!

Many people who make New Year’s resolutions or goal set at anytime can do so with an unrealistic outlook or measure on what’s actually required to succeed.

This can create them being being over confident – and failing to adequately prepare for those moments of weakness – this could be your biggest challenge of all!

Imagination is greater than will-power remember that, PLUS you are not superhuman and immune to cravings or temptation all of the time.

Fail to prepare – Prepare to fail!

Whatever it is that you want to achieve, goal set, work out your end result and then think about what could possibly trip you up?

What situations could be tempting? / What people may be a negative influence? / When are you more likely to be susceptible to old habits?  

You will not have to be prepared and aware forever, just until you’ve created your old habits and thinking with new positive ones.

For instance, Stay away from stressful situations, Stay away from friends who encourage you to drink, smoke and clear your house of unwanted foods, for example – Prepare, so that you can make it as hard as you possibly can to be able to indulge in your old behaviour/habit.

 Distract and reward!

Changing habits/stopping behaviours/making lifestyle changes can seem difficult, dull and depressing! To help you easily be able to make your desired changes, distract yourself (a coach can show you some easy and effective techniques to use) when your old habits are looming in your mind, do something different – move! Change your thinking! For example, if wanting a cigarette is occupying your mind, take three deep breathes whilst saying ‘I love how healthy my lungs feel’.  If you’re focussing on biting your nails go and get some varnish and paint them instead!

Reward – Reward – Reward!

The key to changing habits/thinking and behaviours ultimately come down to the reward system you give yourself. Have small daily rewards that you give yourself for being smoke-free, eating fruit instead of a biscuit. This allows you to enjoy the process and focus on the reward and not the task. The action and task merely become tools to enable you to treat yourself!

No failure only feedback!

Because we are mere mortals, we can succumb to temptation and it can be easy to let one small setback ruin your best intentions, which is why it is so important to get any into context. So what if you fell off the wagon temporarily? It is what it is – temporary and perhaps you had to do it again just the once to prove that you actually no longer want to do that again!

Acknowledge it for what it is – Put the past behind you, pick yourself up and carry on – You can do it!

Remember – your WHY?

Why are you changing your behaviour/habits/lifestyle? What’s in it for you?

Recall your WHY?  Focus on your WHY? in any moments of weakness or temptation, think about how great you’re going to feel around the pool in your bikini, how satisfied you’ll feel on your long haul flight to Australia knowing that smoking is no longer an issue for you, How fantastic your hand and nails are going to look when your ring gets put on your finger on your wedding day!

 Focus on your WHY?

Recalling this bigger picture will inspire and motivate you to succeed!

A goal is a dream written down – by writing down your goal you psychologically & physically attach its outcome to you.

So go now and think about what you want, write it down, imagine it being true now, day dream and enjoy that end result, now!

Write your goal onto a small card to continually remind yourself to keep you motivated.

Follow these tips and you can make those changes happen and when they do CELEBRATE even more than ever before – because you deserve it!

As I said before I recommend using the services of a trained coach to ensure that

A) You actually create the goals that you WANT!

B) You make an achievable step by step plan to get the results you set out for.

C) You have the necessary support and accountability to make your goals happen – faster and easier!

If you’d like to learn more from Loran Northey or Paramount Coaching please contact her on 07709 564426 or email Loran on info@paramountcoaching.co.uk

Make your Goals become a reality NOW!